Understanding After The Fall
by dreamgurl
Summary: A CB one-shot set after 2.15: Chuck sees himself marrying Blair, pretty much. Just a short bit of fluff to hopefully dispel any disappointment from last week's episode.


**Understanding After The Fall  
**Author's Note: This is nothing but a little scenario I thought of while getting a haircut today. Hope you enjoy :)  
Summary: This takes place after 2.15. It's a little bit of Chuck and Blair fluff, I guess. I don't know what description to give, other than Chuck finds himself in a church, preparing to get married. Make of that what you will.

----

Chuck Bass absent-mindedly fidgeted with his bowtie as he scrutinized his tuxedo. It didn't seem to fit right, but he couldn't pinpoint what was wrong. Nothing was. Everything was picture perfect – everything but him, of course. **He **was the only thing wrong with the picture. What was he even doing here? No church should ever have opened its doors to the likes of him in the first place.

Nate spoke some words to him and Chuck bobbed his head up and down, not paying his best friend the least bit of attention. A clap of the shoulder, a conspiratorial wink, and off he went. Of course Nate would be so happy-go-lucky about it. Nothing fazed that kid. _Lucky bastard_, Chuck thought with a little spite. He, on the other hand, was a train wreck. He'd never felt this nervous in his entire life – not even while proposing Victrola to his father, may he rest in peace. There was no way he was ready for this. No way he would **ever** be ready, in fact. He sank down into the nearest chair and tried to remember the very stupid reasons he had come up with this idea to begin with.

Of course, he didn't have to think too hard. It all boiled down to one simple thing: Blair. He wanted Blair, and this was the only way to have her. Well, that was partly a lie – he didn't just _want_ her, as much as he had always tried to convince himself that was all it was. He had tried to think of her as an object of desire, something he had to **possess**, but it had soon become evident that she was so much more than that. It was an unhealthy obsession, really. He sometimes felt he couldn't breathe until she was his, or until he was _hers_ was more like it. And yet, he had never let her come close enough to try. He couldn't, because he would only end up destroying her. And that was how he knew it wasn't just a question of him wanting her. It was that he **loved** her. That had been the scariest thing of all.

---

"You ready, man?" Nate's soothing voice filtered through his thoughts. "I think we're waiting for you."

Chuck accepted Nate's comforting smile and stood himself up with a small gulp. He walked out into the chapel and surveyed the room as he took his place at the altar. They weren't even Catholic, but they were getting married at the same church Blair had confessed at after their first…encounter. She had chosen the place, of course. He wondered briefly if it was the same priest, too, and ventured a small wink at the old man. To his surprise, the priest winked back.

He turned his gaze to the small crowd of guests sitting in their pews. It was a rather intimate gathering, and he didn't know whether he was glad of this or not. Perhaps, if there were more people, they would be paying less attention to him. He couldn't shake the feeling that everyone was watching him, waiting for him to mess up – to run away and grab the nearest bridesmaid on his way out. Of course, the nearest bridesmaid would probably end up being Serena, and that would just be awkward.

He looked over at his side of the church and still couldn't believe there were people actually sitting there, supporting him. The Archibalds were there, of course, Howard having been released from prison on account of good behavior. They looked slightly miffed that they weren't getting the Waldorf prestige for themselves, but they were still there, and that's what counted. It was a little weird seeing Vanessa sitting there, and especially weird when she flashed a warm smile at him. He figured it was meant for Nate, but smiled back anyway. She was his best friend's girl, after all, and he might just go so far as to call her a friend. Maybe.

Lily and Eric were sitting in the front row, and waved to him when his eyes fell on them. His family, as messed up as that was and as much as he had fought against it. Rufus Humphrey was missing from the little party, despite his wretched insistence on continuing to date Chuck's step-mother. Chuck felt gratified that he hadn't even asked her not to bring him – she had just known he wouldn't be welcome. Eric flashed him a discreet thumbs up, and Chuck instantly felt a little better. He could totally do this. It was easy. Say a few words, give Blair a kiss, and then she was his for life. Simple as that. The hard part was what came after.

Dan Humphrey was sitting next to Eric, practically hugging himself from awkwardness. Chuck knew he was Serena's plus-one and momentarily relished the thought of making a scene and kicking him out, but he instantly decided against it. Serena would not like that one bit, Blair would be mortified, and Nate would probably be vaguely disappointed. Besides, as much as Chuck hated to admit it, he wanted Dan there.

---

The familiar music started up and Chuck found himself raptly attending to the doors. Serena walked in first as maid of honor, of course, followed by some random people he could care less about. Maybe friends of Blair's from Yale? As Serena got closer, she gave Chuck a look that was somewhere between "I'm so proud of you" and "I'm going to **kill** you if you screw this one up." _Thanks, Dad_, he telegraphed back to her mentally.

Long before he was ready for the shock, Blair stepped into the room (he refused to let himself think "filled the room with light" even though he wanted to) with Harold on one arm and Cyrus on the other. She was wearing the first piece of jewelry he had ever bought her, which touched him, and was dressed all in white. He might have chuckled at that, seeing as she wasn't fooling anyone with the color of her dress, but he was too entranced. She looked radiant, beautiful, perfect, any and all positive adjectives. He was rooted to the spot and couldn't have run away with a bridesmaid even if he had wanted to. Surely that had been Blair's plan all along, and she had succeeded.

She stopped in front of him and smiled softly, and he could hardly catch his breath. It was impossible to know what facial expression he was making and even harder to modify it in any way. Whatever he looked like in that moment would have to do.

The priest spoke for what seemed an interminably long time, especially since Chuck couldn't bring himself to focus on the words. And, then, all of a sudden, it was time for vows. _Oh, dear God_. He had something prepared, of course, but hell if he could remember it now. Thankfully, Blair was going to go first.

She took his hand in her own and breathed in deeply. He was reminded of the day of his father's funeral, and a sharp pain went through him, but it was soon eased by her melodic voice.

"I've already given you my vows once before," she began a little shakily, but her voice soon gained confidence. "But I don't think they can ever be said enough. I said I would stand by you through anything, and I swear I will. Everything you are and everything you do, no matter how sad or terrible or damaged – and these are all negative words, but I know that some things you do are wonderful and beautiful and perfect, too –"

Chuck could hear Serena and Nate laughing faintly in the background, and maybe the rest of the church laughing a little as well. He hoped they would stop soon, so that Blair could keep talking. But maybe they should keep going, so that her speech would never end, so that he would never have to give his, so that they could stay in exactly this position forever.

"– Everything about you," she continued, "…is a part of me, too." She squeezed his hand as tears welled up in her eyes. He thought about all the times he had made her cry and thanked God that, just this once, they were tears of joy. He thought he might be tearing up a little, too. "We're Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair. And…I love you."

He wanted to kiss her right then and there, but it was time for him to speak. Damn it. He cleared his throat, and swore he could see a bunch of leering faces, knowing this was the part where he shot it all to hell. Well, if he was going to die, he may as well die fighting. So he dived right in.

"Blair, I love you. I have to start with that rather than end with it because I know I was late in the first place." At this everyone laughed as well, and he breathed a sigh of relief. They had each made the room laugh once. Now they were even. After all this time, they still had to play _some_ kind of game, and he was okay with that.

"And every day, every moment that I let you doubt my love for you is a moment I wish I could take back. A moment I didn't really feel alive. You made me who I am today, for better or worse." Laughter again. He smirked at her during the pause and could see her eyes shooting daggers through her tears. _I win._

"Because of you, I know what love is. I know what hard work is. You're the first thing I ever had to fight for, and the only thing that I can't ever let myself lose."

Finally. He had gotten through the first hurdle. He slipped his mother's wedding ring onto Blair's slender finger and kissed her hand when he was done. The priest said something about kissing the bride, so he did just that. He kissed her as hungrily and as tentatively as he did the first time their lips had ever touched, one night long ago in his limo.

---

Chuck Bass woke up in a cold sweat. _What the fuck? _He looked around the room in a daze, trying to place himself in time and space. His eyes grabbed hold of the dresser in the corner and let his brain know he was in his suite at the Palace Hotel. He looked over at the nearest clock – clearly it was not five years into the future. No, it was the day after the worst day of his life. He did not currently own any part of his father's business, Lily and Eric were _not_ his family, and Blair was not his wife. In fact, he had made it abundantly clear to her that she was not his wife, and she had replied by pretty much letting him know she never **would** be. Perfect.

He jumped out of bed and began to run a cold shower. It was time to wake up and face reality. If he wanted to get anywhere, he was first going to have to take down Jack Bass and claim back his father's legacy. Blair could come later. _No_, he corrected himself, _Blair __**will **__come later_. She had just provided him with the worst rejection he could have possibly imagined, but Chuck Bass did not back down from a challenge. He would learn to tell her loved her if it killed him. Which it wouldn't, because he still needed to make her his wife after the fact.

----

**THE END**


End file.
